He Doesn't Sleep By Me Anymore

Oh, just grow up!  I remember that particular comic from the Sunday funnies while growing up.  I always liked Family Circle the best. One particular day showed the mom frustrated with her house, the kids, the pets and her husband.  She looks exhausted, stressed out and on the verge of a breakdown.  That's when the mom says, "Oh, just grow up".

The end of the comic strip shows the aged mom, a perfectly clean house and her grown kids who have moved away.  She looks lonely, bored and sad.
I believe the comic sums up everything we need to know about parenting little ones.  It doesn't last long. 

Routines have become the background noise to raising our children.  I remember how swiftly life changed once Ross entered our world.  Our days were run by the clock and everything we did revolved around getting him on a schedule.  Almost like a robot.  The fear of him napping at the wrong time, a meal being served without enough protein, bedtime arriving before a bath or the thought of him accidently falling asleep in the car at 10:30 a.m. was a sure sign it'd be a sleepless night for everyone.
I look back and wonder so many things.  Mainly, why didn't we just relax?
 

When Ross was 4, he began sleeping in my bed when Mike would travel.  They were precious times when he and I would stay up whispering about stuffed animals, school, friends... whatever he wanted, until we both got too sleepy to whisper anymore.   

 

Ross is now 9 and somewhere along the line, he stopped sleeping in my bed with me when Mike's gone.  He doesn't ask or even bring it up anymore.  In a way it breaks my heart knowing he's outgrown it, yet at the same time my heart swells with gratitude that I took advantage of the short time my boy wanted to sleep by me.  How easily I could have said 'Absolutely not, you have school in the morning'.  And if I had, I'd never know the sweet whispers, thoughts and laughs we were able to share, just he and I.

Makes me wonder what I've already missed. 

 

Perhaps I'm selfish about the time I have with my kids.  Perhaps I know my kids will be grown up in a blink and I'll look back wishing I'd gone to the late ballgame with them, that we'd skipped naps to go to the park, that we'd forgot about bedtimes because we were enjoying who we were with and what we were doing, that we'd had popcorn for dinner and let the kids go to bed in their clothes. 

 

Molly woke up crying through the night.  She had a bad dream regarding bees. (better than bats). I laid with her a while, yet she begged for permission to sleep in 'our bed'.  I explained our bed is too small.  Mike and I swear it's a short queen.  But then I was overcome with grace for my little darlin' who was honestly scared and wanted nothing more than the comfort of her parents bed.  Who was I to deny her that?  It became so clear to me that it doesn't really matter if she sleeps with us.  Society tells us what's right and wrong for kids; however grace, compassion, and 'Family Circle' tell me everything this mama needs to know about my kids.  As I picked up her tiny body, she clung to me like a baby koala who needed nothing more than the warmth of her mom.  Lying in the short queen, she held my hand as she drifted off.  Meanwhile my heart turned soupy knowing these days wont last long.