Day 1

Our first day of school with 3 kids under one roof is officially in the books.

Ross and Maisie woke up excited while Molly was scared.

The only breakfast request was 'something that wont make me have to dump'. 

Cereal it was.

I decided their nervous jitters were making them extra bonkers during pictures.

Maisie discovered she had her own locker this morning and quickly found her new best friend.

Ross was too cool for school and walked 5-feet ahead of me down the hallways.

Molly cried when we entered her classroom, but by the end of the day told me she 'loved it' and 'wanted to marry school'.

Therefore, I'm taking the first day of school as a win.

The scariest moment is always just before you start...

Fairy Dough and End of Summer Break

In the process of prepping for students this week, I wanted to try a few Child Development crafts out on my girls.  One of the crafts for my Child Development students first week of school will be making fairy dough.  A couple of my students babysit and are looking for fun activities to do on the job.  The rest of the students just want to carry around the Baby Think It Overs and wear the Empathy Belly at school.  

My kids have recently discovered the 90's pop song, "Too Sexy".  They especially like the part that says', "I'm too sexy for my cat".  Go figure.

If you didn't know I got a new van, I got a new van.  It's a Ford Transit Connect and fits everyone with plenty of leg and headroom.  We realized it's the same car Chick-Fil-A delivers in.  We also added on to our driveway by making a turn around loop.  No more fingers-crossed reversing out the driveway.

And Mike and Ross have been busy trying to finish the playhouse. 

I told Molly it looked like she was heading off to college with her new haircut and bag.

Open house was Monday night and apparently my kids downed some pixie sticks or espresso after dropping off their backpacks.

They may tell you otherwise, but they are beyond excited to start school.

Ready or not, it's time.

Back to School

I made it back to school this week and was only shot by the air soft pellet gun once.  

Seriously, this is my life.

The police department held ALICE training the first morning teachers returned to work.  ALICE is the new method for combatting armed intruders and instructs teachers to fight back instead of the traditional lockdown method.  

Good Lord.

Of course, just as I was locking my door after the alarms sounded, I was shot in the arm.  

Not Funny.  

That thing left a welt and bruise.  As I ran into the food pantry to tell my hiding 'students' I'd just been shot, the police officer gunman returned and said that time didn't count.  We weren't supposed to lock the doors.  

Whaaattt!!  Didn't count!??

The next time we jumped out the window and let me tell you, the image in my mind of the 'older women' jumping falling out of my window nearly had me in tears.  

We followed up with the annual powerpoint lesson from our workman's comp insurance guy as several teachers sat in the bleachers icing their ankles.

Other than that, it's great to be back in my classroom.  I've become known as the teacher with the odd bulletin board messages.  I thought the below message was a good 'back to school message'.

"Awesome things will happen today if you choose not to be a miserable cow"

So true people, so true...

I don't know about you, but this year is off to one heck of a start!  

We're gonna rock-it like it's your birthday.

Love always, your I-35 FCS Teacher.  

READY!

Holy Crap, can I please go back to school yet? 

The kids are making absolute sure we'll be ready to go our own directions Wednesday (first day back for teachers).  I've reached the point where my throat is sore and my lips are permanently pursed.  I was hoping to have a calm, somewhat productive, somewhat pleasant day with the kids on my last day of summer break. 

Well that just wasn't in the cards.

I took the girls for donuts at the Bakery for breakfast.  That's somewhat 'fun', right?  Sorta special?

It wasn't long after this moment everything fell apart.

Let me first mention that the anticipation of Mack has caused me to go into serious nesting mode.  The cat and dog don't help my obsession. With that said, Ross and I discovered flea eggs falling off Kuda on the living room floor this morning.  Anger doesn't even come close to what I was feeling upon discovering those moving black eggs on my floor.

I may as well have had witnessed a murder.  Everything, EVERYTHING would need to be scrubbed and the cat would need to be thrown out to the dog.  There was no other way.

Naturally Ross escaped and was later found watching the Olympics naked under a towel at Grandmas, Maisie went into 'help Mom with everything mode', and Molly decided I was the warm body she was going to leach onto until she turned 15.  Meanwhile, I was busy trying to distract the dog from the cat with an empty Coors light box (it was the only thing I could find on the porch), while the flea infested cat was trying to break back into the house.  I had 2 people arguing over my wicker furniture set on Online Garage Sales and I just got a message we could "WeChat" with Mack whenever we want. What the heck is WeChat and can't we just Skype?!

It didn't help that I ate too many onions last night and Molly woke up at 12:30 after peeing through the generic Shopko pull-ups.  After I stripped her bed she decided she was scared of her pillow and needed to sleep with me.  Whatever, I was tired and apparently pillows are the new monsters.

Mike eventually left the bed to sleep on the couch and I got Molly's elbow in my kidney all night.   In the morning Mike walked into the bedroom and announced how the room smelled like 'fart', which immediately got Molly's attention and would require immediate showers.  Those onions were strong.

Below are some camera phone shots from the end of our day. 

15 hours left and counting!

My Baby is 6

Whhaat?  6?

She's been acting like a 13 year old with the attitude to prove it.  How can she only be 6?

She learned to use a sewing machine..

And takes photos of one of her favorite t.v. shows- Bob Ross Paints

Has lots of silly faces

And does science experiments with her sis

can do pull ups on the playhouse doorframe

and make zucchini muffins by herself.

She's got a personality like no other.  Sweet, shy, independent, impatient, silly, bossy and blunt.  She's the Baskin' Robbins of emotions. 

And we can't imagine this world without her.

Zoo Visit

I had free tickets to the zoo and decided it'd be a good way to kill a day this week. 

Yep, I've reached that point. 

The day we went was nauseatingly hot.  There were also various bus loads of people visiting on this day.  Ross' maturity level is the opposite of high and he has a difficult time containing inappropriate laughter.

I tried to distract him in this photo by telling him to play the drums and focus on the camera as a  particular group walked by us. 

The kids watched a zookeeper feed the piranhas.  I can't get over the definition of Molly's calves in this photo.

Just don't ask.

Lastly, we found Ross' long lost twin.

Go Back To School!

And These... Are The Days of Our Lives.

I Hate Peter

We walked outside and discovered a dead critter lying in the yard.  Upon investigation by Ross, we discovered A) its a male, B) it's not a coon, C) Molly loves it, D) it's teeth are ginormous, and E) the parasites swarming out of its mouth brought up conversations of burial verses crematorial options. Nonetheless, Molly felt he needed a name.  Peter, was the obvious choice in this situation.

We're still determining exactly what he is, my my hunch is he's a woodchuck.  

Therefore, well offer a burial servive for Peter later this evening if anyone wishes to offer up any prayers.  

I can't help by asking the question, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

PETER UPDATE:

This post was originally written 2 days ago.

The burial service was not executed.  My error.

Tuesday I had a huge catering event and by the time Wednesday rolled around, the stench was more than I could handle.  A shovel hauled a rank, blubbery, maggot covered Peter to the fire.  Cremation was the only option at this point.

By the way, this was my very first cremation.

I assumed newspaper, wood and cardboard would get hot enough to dispose of this 'Peter'.

Nope. 

Goose sat by the fire making eerie 'throat sounds' as I lit the fire, and as soon as I was out of site, drug Peter back out.

Therefore, I was forced to march back out there, scold Goose and re-cremate Peter.  However, it wasn't as easy as it sounded.  Apparently, Goose managed to break the green-rotting innards of this creature as he pulled him from the fire, leaving a path of horrid poop across the back yard.  Again... it's been HOT.  The flies were on this stuff like... well, you can imagine.

Mike returned home from work and explained it's impossible to burn a dead animal without lighter fluid due to the moisture content, as though this were common knowledge.

Oh, and also it's not a woodchuck.

It's a muskrat. 

Silly me.

Is it time for school to start yet?

Sandy Butt Cracks

Mike and I decided to haul the kids 75 minutes north to Ledges State Park Sunday.  I warned the kids not to run on the trails because you could fall and die. 

That always gets their attention.

However, the moment Ross saw how steep some of the trails were, he took off like Mowgli from the Jungle Book and had no time for the rest of us.

Maisie turned into a little animal-girl and did a good job of keeping up with Mowgli.  She often told me she felt like a monkey and her armpits were even itchy, so that just make her feel even more like a monkey. 

Molly thought falling down the paths was hilarious.  My favorite mental image of the day was Mike holding her hand down the steepest path as her body left the ground and twisted around like a puppet.  She was laughing hysterically.  Eventually she slid down the rest of the path on her butt like a waterslide.  My second favorite memory of the day was when she explained how much sand was stuck in her butt crack. 

Sorry I don't have any photos of the actual hiking and water play, I didn't think bringing my camera was safe.  However, I took a couple shots on the way home with my phone.

These are my people.  Dirty, sandy, exhausted and hot.

I must have been born under a lucky star...