She Didn't Need Me

It's not that I really loved listening to the stories at library story time.  But she needed me next to her.  She's shy.  We attend 'school', as Molly calls it each week.  She refers to the librarian as her 'teacher' and the reading room is her 'classroom'.  The other moms sit outside the reading room chatting about pregnancy weight, sick kids and what they're having for lunch.  Not this mama.  Molly's shy and wants me to sit with her.  She needs me.

This week was the Valentines party.  Lots of kids showed up and the teacher even brought cookies.  One poor little girl had to leave halfway through the party when her mom noticed the kids eating cookies.  Apparently her daughter is allergic to eggs and milk.  Can you even imagine?

However, before the party began, I asked Molly if I could go look for a book and be right back.  She said "No, not right now."  A minute later I asked again.  She replied, "okay mom."

As I walked away, I caught myself looking back at her.  She didn't appear phased by my leaving.  I wandered the library feeling an odd sense of freedom.  I decided I didn't like it.  I snatched the current issue of Food Network magazine and found a place to sit outside the reading room where I could see her, but she couldn't see me.  I heard her talking during show and tell, I saw her make a Valentine card out of a doily and eat  cookie sprinkles off the carpet.  That's when she looked up and caught a glimpse of me.  She burst into a smile...she was proud...she was confident... she's growing up.  Suddenly I noticed my heart was heavier than normal.  As much as I pray she grows to be a strong, confident and independent woman, she is and always will be my baby girl.  

And as the chair I normally occupy during library school sat empty, it was clear she no longer needed me. 

Good gravy, when did I turn into such a sap?