What I'll Miss

I started off hating it.  The second time I walked through I left in tears knowing it was our only choice.  Regardless of the dead mouse decaying on the basement floor, we'd be moving in within the month.  The thought of moving my babies into this broken-down joint took over my emotions and I ached for the day we'd move out.  I tried looking on the bright side, gratitude right?  I tried focused on other things; trips, recipes, photography, reading, uncluttering.  It worked; for a while. 

 

Then... and I can't say "all of a sudden", because we all know it wasn't... our house was framed and we began to see the big picture.  And that's when I realized we can't move into our new house until we say goodbye to the current one.   Did I mention I hated it? 

 

I hated that bats circled our heads at night,  I hated that the vents smelled like dog diarrhea when the air conditioner ran,  I hated that our bedroom was so small Mike had to crawl overtop of me to get to his side of the bed, I hated that while someone was sitting on the toilet, another person would be standing infront of them brushing their teeth (usually naked), I hated that our doors don't physically shut and only one window will open, I hated that stray cats found their way into my van and the kitchen was constantly mounded with dirty laundry.  Our microwave's the size of a dorm microwave and our shower's straight out of the original Barbie motorhome. 

 

But without warning, I started to grow fond of the place.  The stink wore off and the bats must have flown south.  I adore being close to my family and not so spread out... most of the time.  I love that we don't have cable, I love that Mike and I can share a squeaky old bed and laugh, I love that I'm close to the coffee shop when the coffeepot breaks at 6:45 a.m, and that I'm only 2 minutes from home when Ross realizes he forgot his backpack.  I love walking around the square knowing people by name, I love that Molly is Ben Franklins best candy customer and I love returning from bike rides to find Kratt greeting us 2 blocks from home.  I love huddling around the dinner table knowing my family has everything it could ever need.  My kids don't see the house as being a rundown rental at all.  For now it's our home.  And although it often sucks, a part of me will miss this dump.  A wise woman I had the privilege of speaking with over the weekend told me something I've always known, yet needed to hear... home is where your family is.