Monday, June 16, 2014

Full Moons and Potatoes

It started with a wart.  A $600 wart to be exact.  The wart on Ross' elbow that is stubborn beyond words.  It's been frozen 4 times, treated with the pharmacy's secret wart solution, scooped out with a razor blade, scraped off during a roller-skating accident, smothered in duct tape and treated with beetle juice.  Yet it keeps coming back. 
 
I've always had a teeny-tiny interest in witchcraft.  I'm guessing all it started back in '96 after I checked out that witchcraft book from the Eldridge library.  Eventually the library called to say the book hadn't been returned and I'd be charged for it.  I searched high and low for that book with no success.  I cut up my library card and accepted the fact that I wouldn't check out anymore books from the Eldridge library for as long as I lived.  I ended up finding the book a year later under the seat of my car while packing for college. 
 
It was Aunt Judy who brought up Grandpa Claussen's old wives tale about warts when she visited us.  The theory goes something like this:
 
Under a full moon, you cut a potato in half and rub it on your wart.  Then you bury it without telling anyone where it's buried.  While talking to Papa Green about our plan, he mentioned a few more details.  Apparently, after rubbing it on the wart, you throw it over your left shoulder, wrap it in a rag and bury it in manure.  So there's that.
 
Friday night was the night.  Not only was it a full moon, but it was Friday the 13th.  In sheer desperation, I trespassed into the neighbors horse pasture and into a barn.  I emerged with a shovel-full of manure and boogied back onto our side of the fence.  We waited until nearly 10:00 for the moon to make it's grand appearance. 
 
Ross was responsible for sending a prayer to Grandpa Claussen as he secretly buried the potato in manure.  Only he and Grandpa know where the potato ended up.  Now we wait. 
 
Regardless of the results, I'm pretty sure Grandpa Claussen's gonna make sure Ross never forgets the full moon on Friday, June 13th 2014.
 
 
 
The below photos show how we killed time waiting for the moon to come out...
 
Starting a fire with a magnifying glass.
 
 
Chopping firewood.
 
My family. 
One with a knife, one with an axe, one in a maxi and one without pants.
 

2 comments:

  1. This worked and I had the same thing. Frozen 4 times, dig out. Went to. A “witch doctor”s husband and he made me close my eyes and I could tell he cut a potato and he handed it to me when he rubbed it on the wart and made me throw it in a field over my shoulder...

    ReplyDelete
  2. This worked and I had the same thing. Frozen 4 times, dig out. Went to. A “witch doctor”s husband and he made me close my eyes and I could tell he cut a potato and he handed it to me when he rubbed it on the wart and made me throw it in a field over my shoulder...

    ReplyDelete