So Many Questions

As I sit down for a few minutes Sunday afternoon, I get the 'full storage' message on my phone.  As I begin the tedious task of deleted unwanted photos, I fully admit I can barely remember taking some of them.

I've always tried to be 'present' in this motherhood business, but let's face it,  

It's easier said than done.

I never expected parenting to be easy.  

But for crying out loud, this is bordering on an Olympic athletics.

Yet looking though the photos on my phone and about to hit the delete button, I'm left with so many questions. 

For example, why do Jayson's toes look like this?

What's with all the black?

And how did her hair get so blonde?

And this loose tooth wedge itself on the brace?

And is it a sign of creativity or disappointment that my oldest girl is forced to create her own happy meal out of construction paper, scotch tape and bread when I refuse to take her to McDonalds.

 And why can't Mother Nature give us more days to be outside during my baby's first American spring?

Meanwhile, what causes my oldest to have peeling finger tips?  Is this an Asian thing?

And how did our little neighbor girl become old enough to drive herself home from practice each night?

And go to her first prom as a freshman?

 And what in the world did I ever do to deserve being this man's wife? 

How?  Seriously, HOW do they make Pancake Art look SO easy on YouTube? 

And I wonder what flipped in this little girl to WANT to try a few sports this spring.

And where his love of nature (especially dead nature he can skin) came from?

Sometimes lactating nature...

And how amazingly well my '3 littles' play.

Yep, we're in the process of finally getting concrete (machinery in the background)

And again, yep that's a mattress on the front porch.

Just don't worry about it.

 And who decided to make the movie, "I Can Only Imagine" so darn sad?

Lastly, I wonder how Ross is going to pull off his 6th Grade Science Fair Project as to whether Dogs or Humans have more germs with results that look like this.

These are just a snapshot of some 'surface questions' flowing in and out of my mind each day.  Questions I'd casually bring up with the lady checking my massive amount of groceries at Fareway to make conversation.

But naturally there will always be the bigger, harder, sometimes scary questions I wonder and pray about during the rest of the day.

The kind of questions that make me mentally tired and have no other choice than to know that 

'The Will Of God Will Not Take You Where The Graces of God Will Not Protect You.'

As we dig deeper into learning what our little Jay is struggling with emotionally, and as I begin to think I've finally gotten 1/8-inch closer to earning Mack's respect as his Mom, and as Ross embarks on the weirdness of puberty, and as Maisie searches for her true passions and interests and comes up with Squishies and Slime and watching YouTube videos and then to watch Molly help shove Jayson's snow boots on his feet to play in the snow while making sure he's taken all his vitamins for the day.  

But then there's this guy named Mike. 

He's the calm to the storm.

The easy to my hard.

He's my single constant these days.

The one who hangs out with me at the prom so I can watch my students dressed up.

Who listens to me bark about the unfunctionality of the mudroom and lack of bathroom decor in our house.  Who knows seeing a psychic is on my bucket list and who knows my dream date is a bottle of wine and trip to Hobby Lobby.

I know fully well 5 years will bring on a whole new level of questions and hardness with my little loves, but something tells tells me this Mike-guy will be rooting for me the whole time time.