God's Plan

When I worked full time in the newborn stage...

what am I talking about, I didn't.

The knowledge of having a newborn baby and sending him to daycare made me want to puke.  

I kept my job, but went to 'regular-time' at work. 

I pumped at my desk and clocked out as soon as humanly possible.

Suddenly we lost our daycare provider and I was pregnant.  I was numb at the thought of leaving 2 babies at an unfamiliar daycare provider, yet had no choice.

I convinced myself I was a better mother because I worked.

Many working mothers say the stress of housework, their marriage, getting dinner on the table take so much energy.

For me, the hardest part of motherhood was the constant nagging guilt of not being home with my babies.

In 2010 we had a preschooler, a toddler and an infant, I wanted to scream with frustration that daycare was or only option.  I ran the numbers over and over and with desperate pleas to Mike and God, realized I HAD to continue working.  We NEEDED insurance.

Again, the thought made me want to puke.

But God has a way.

In fact, when the timing was perfect, AND I had the patience to be home with my babes, it all worked out like it was supposed to.

And somehow, 8 years later, God has slowly worked me back into the workforce.

I'm realizing now I really AM a better mom because I work. 

I find it fascinating.